Oratio, Episode 5
Friends, this week was hard. It was hard to look at the verses, hard to connect with God, and hard to engage with the world and the heaviness I felt amidst it all. The question I sought to answer this week, initially, was "What are we waiting for?"
While acknowledging the way these three lectionary passages fit into that question, I also wanted to take a moment to pause; to bring your body into the space; to breathe deeply and be aware of the points of tensions in your body that you might have - that you might have experienced as you read through the passages above.
Take as much time as you need to enter this space with your body, and let's move forward.
Psalm 130 addresses the theme of waiting in that it shows first, what waiting feels like, and two, what we're waiting for. The feeling of waiting is excruciating, it's a moment of waiting for the soul, of tension and of in-between. With that said, this passage also shows what we wait for, as it also shows us how it feels; we are waiting for this longing, for this feeling of want (desire/hunger/thirst) to be fulfilled.
John 6 goes into how Jesus fills this longing by being the "bread of life". He says that he fills a longing that is beyond physical need. And while this is supposed to be comforting, this point honesty frustrated me. I am in such a state that fulfilling a want of metaphysical or spiritual longing is something that feels flat, because of the amount of physical and literal need that is present in the world.
And yet, the point of waiting is further understood.
Even in the life of Jesus, we see this theme reinforced. Jesus waited himself; while Jesus was alive, he was waiting to get to the point of death and the resurrection. And yet, even as Jesus was in place of waiting for these moments in his life to happen, he was also completely fulfilled in that moment, and fully represented everything that would ever be needed in the world. Jesus was the incarnation of perfection, of God in flesh, of justice and hope and goodness - he was everything fulfilled in that moment, even before he reached the points of death and resurrection.
And this gives me hope. Because even as we have moments where we feel the tension of waiting, the difficulty of existing in that in-between, we also find a hope within us that is present, right now in this moment.
We are incarnation too.
While Jesus was a perfect reflection of God in flesh, we too are an iteration of that.
We can hope for more; we can understand that the gap for justice and truth is large.
And we can also know that justice and truth and hope exists right now, in us. That we are the incarnation of goodness too. That there is hope and truth right now. And it is present in you.
Be well. Be loved. And know that even if holy words fall flat, you are God's own unique holy word.
You are a holy scripture too.